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So you’ve arrived at this article because you’re eager to pick up some tips about swinging? This suggests you’re a novice swinger? Another implication would be that this is no casual inquiry, and you are eager to find out more because you want to explore the whole ‘open relationship’ dynamic. Before we go any further, let’s just ensure you’re okay with exactly what we’re talking about.
Swinging tends to conjure images of those decadent parties portrayed in movies set in 1970s suburbia, where couples would deposit their keys in a jar at the start of the evening, then arrange a ‘lucky’ dip to see who was going to leave with who. The reality is more complex. It can involve swapping partners.
Or simply watching others (colloquially, dogging). But it might also center on singles participating in sexual activities with groups. Now for some tips !
© Can Stock Photo / kopitinphoto
1) Make sure you’re ready
It’s crucial to be prepared for what lies ahead. For many, the prospect of attending a group event, either at home or a party at someone else’s place, then observing a loved one going for it with a stranger, might seem anathema. For others, however, the concept conjured by that previous sentence would be a total turn-on.
A good way of getting into the zone would be to first dip into a swingers chatroom and become acquainted with the stories the other members will generally be only too willing to share. A common consensus you’ll discover is that swinging increases the appetite for sex amongst the swingers. In terms of quality, duration, and inventiveness, your fellow swingers are likely to inform you how much their sex lives have improved in their relationship and with others.
2) Use only niche dating platforms
Whether you’re single or already in a committed partnership, once you’ve decided you’re ready to swing, your next step is introducing yourself to this new dimension. You might assume swinging is some erotic closed shop, a clandestine club where you have to be proposed by existing members, your intentions carefully vetted.
Unlike polyamory, where relationships can become emotional bonds, swinging is focused on sex.
The reality is more down-to-earth and far less melodramatic. The easiest way to become involved with other consensual swingers would be to pop ‘swinging’ into your search engine. (Actually, a better recommendation would be to preface that with ‘sexual,’ otherwise, you’re going to receive a barrage of golfing tips!) Seriously, you’d want to avoid generic dating sites, where members are usually less open to new adventures or encounters considered outwith the ‘monogamous mainstream.’ Pick niche sites where swinging is integral to what the platform is about.
3) Have an honest conversation with your partner
You’ve heard the adage, ‘honesty is the best policy?’ Nowhere is that more apparent than where swinging is concerned. Long before you set off for your first rendezvous, the two of you will have to sit down and have an open discussion about what you are about to let yourself into. If you are a male, it might be the case you have concerns about being able to satisfy strangers.
If you’ve never experienced erectile dysfunction before, a frank chat might help to alleviate any worries. Nobody you are going to encounter is going to give you a hard time over this aspect – newcomers will be expected to be nervous.
4) Set clear boundaries
Everyone, including your immediate partner, will have a unique perception of what will be involved. Before you arrange any activity, talk to everyone who is going to participate well in advance of your session. Discuss and agree on boundaries. If anyone is apprehensive, try and assure them how enjoyable swinging will be – never try to force the issue.
5) Start slowly
You might feel the urge to launch straight into the swinging dynamic, perhaps by sourcing the latest get-together after chatting in a swinger chat room. But it would be better to pace yourself. Start low-key, perhaps arrange a foursome on a swinging site. Then work your way towards more ambitious targets, like that orgy party someone mentioned in the forum!
6) Pay attention to swinger club etiquette
Understand the etiquette of applying to the club you are going to enter. There will be different considerations for vanilla swinging and the LGBT variety. A common factor is never to linger too long with a couple. Swinging is about sex, not love!
Bottom line
Swinging is an aspect of sexuality that remains ‘underground’ for various reasons. Not everyone feels like bragging about the fact they are frequently unfaithful to their partner and that they are okay with their other half cheating on them! But swingers appreciate that their activities can’t be labeled with emotive terms like cheating when they are 100% consensual. So if you want to experience the audacious thrills of these sensual encounters, follow our tips and go for it!
