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Polyamorous people not only have a relationship with one partner but often with several at the same time – and in such a way that all parties involved know about each other. How does that work out?
With the knowledge and consent of all involved, emotional and sexual relationships with several people can be enjoyed at the same time and work out pretty delightfully.
Still, some prejudice and labels against polyamorous relationships are that those who do not commit to a partner struggle with decision issues, are insecure, immature, or just not ready for a deep emotional bond.
© Can Stock Photo / popaukropa
Unfortunately, there are many more prejudices about polyamorous relationships. We took a closer look at some of them and clear up some common misconceptions:
1. Lesson: Polyamory is not cheating
Many people believe that polyamorous people have one affair after the other and do not tell their partners about it. That’s far from true. One of the fundamental principles of polyamory is honesty and transparency. In contrast to other forms of non-monogamous concepts, consensus, and equality, as well as a long-term orientation play a fundamental role.
Most people that discovered polyamory were raised to believe that you can only love one person and everything else is cheating. So, many of them discovered poly-love without having heard of it before or knowing it was possible, Datingroo found out in an exclusive interview.
In fact, secrecy is not something to strive for in a polyamorous relationship. Absolute honesty should lead to happier and more stable relationships, according to supporters of polyamory.
2. Lesson: Polyamorous relationships are meant to last
As mentioned above, the basic orientation of a poly-relationship is a long-term one. Both partners are interested in being happy with each other – and with others – in the long term. But, just as every monogamous relationship is different, every polyamorous relationship is also very different.
The concept of polyamory as one of many non-monogamous relationship-concepts is often misunderstood and can be defined differently in many ways, as stated in The Conversation.
There is no such thing as a role-model-relationship. Some have one main partnership and several secondary relationships, others have several equal relationships side by side. What always belongs to it, however, is transparency and a lot of self-reflection.
3. Lesson: Polyamory is not the same as polygamy
In polygamy, only one partner, usually the dominant one, has the right to several other partners. This has nothing to do with the egalitarian concept of polyamory. Equality is fundamental to a polyrelationship on eye level.
That said, jealousy is not uncommon in polyamory, so how to deal with it? One approach is starting with one’s own attitude and to question negative thoughts. They usually
have no plausible foundation. It is Important that one doesn’t let jealousy overtake their feelings. In the right measure, it can be a declaration of love to a partner.
Finally, a very important prerequisite for escaping jealousy and leading a polyamorous relationship is also self-confidence.
4. Lesson: Polyamory is not similar to swinging
Swinging is a lifestyle in which couples individually or together enjoy relatively anonymous intercourse with others as a complement to their erotic lives.
It is, so to speak, a kind of “leisure activity”, while polyamory comprises a concept of life that is more integrated into everyday life. Swinging also concentrates primarily on the sexual level, while polyamorous people do indeed form intimate and emotional bonds with other people outside their relationship.
5. Lesson: Polyamory is not the exception
If you look at the figures on divorces and separations, it is clear that the monogamous relationship concept does not work for many. A recent survey by YouGov showed almost half of the men and a third of the women surveyed would like to live a form of non-monogamy.
Of course: Polyamory means constant work on oneself, a lot of communication, and probably some arguments. But on the whole, it might make a relationship more honest and authentic.
