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What is the first thing that comes to mind when you say sexual kink?
A guy in a black leather suit with a red gag ball in his mouth? A woman in a (pardon our French) slutty police costume wearing holding a whip or puffy handcuffs?
As stereotypical as it might sound, that’s precisely what many people believe a fetish or kink looks like. A weird, freaky, sexual spectacle (thank you, 50 Shades of Gray). What they don’t know is that they, too, likely have some kind of kink or fetish.
They just don’t realize it.
In fact, some studies suggest that even over half of the population has a kink. Didn’t see that coming, did you?
But yes, kinks and fetishes are more profound than many people think. Some, however, are more common than others, and today, we’d like to give them their well-earned spotlight.
But before we do that, let’s first clarify what a kink is, how it differs from a fetish, and why so many of us have one. That said, strap on (pun intended) and join us as we dive into the world of saucy secrets and unpack the psychology behind them.
What Is a Kink?
In the simplest of terms, a sexual kink is an unconventional interest or activity that goes beyond the ordinary sex.
The problem with this definition is that it’s difficult to clarify what qualifies as ordinary, vanilla sex. Is there even such a thing?
After all, what counts as ordinary depends on a person and cultural context. For some people, even doing it in a different way than missionary seems kinky.
That said, a kink is an umbrella term for all kinds of out-of-ordinary missionary sex. It can range from something as simple as spanking your partner during sex to more extraordinary acts, like role-play, bondage, or threesomes.
Anything can be a kink, though. It all depends on what you view as deviating from the norm.
Fetishes, though… well, that’s a different story.
What is the difference between a kink and a fetish?
A fetish involves intense arousal triggered by a specific object, body part, or scenario, like feet, latex, or a crisp uniform. In other words, a fetish is something you NEED to feel aroused. It’s integral to the experience.
On the other, a kink is an act you do to get turned on. It enhances your play, but you don’t physically need to do it to… well, do it.
You can say that all fetishes are technically kinks, but not every kink takes things to fetish-level focus.
10 Most Common Sexual Kinks & Fetishes
Remember when we said that, technically, anything can be a kink? As true as it is, some kinks are believed (and confirmed) to be more common than others.
But enough with the foreplay. Here’s a list of the 10 most common sexual kinks and fetishes, plus some insights into what they might mean.
#1 Foot Fetish
Is there a more stereotypical and talked about kink than foot fetish? Oh yes, the good old podophilia (yes, there’s a professional term for that) is expressed by a sexual interest in human feet or their particular parts (toes, for example).
It can be anything from masturbating to pictures of feet or sucking your partner’s big toe Tarantino style. As long there are feet involved, everyone’s happy.
| 🦶Why do people feel aroused by feet? There are several theories on why foot fetish exists. One comes back to Freud’s theory about the human fixation on objects or body parts that look like penises (in this case, a foot is a penis substitute). Another popular theory is that foot fetish is due to sensory input in the brain. It suggests that the brain’s sensory region for feet is located near the area that processes genital stimulation, hence some people’s sexual fixation on feet. |
#2 Bondage Play
By definition, bondage is the act of restraining or tying up a sexual partner. It can involve simple handcuffs or more sophisticated tools, like the shibari rope.
Bondage is the “B” in the BDSM (Bondage-Discipline-Submission-Masochism). For many, it’s the entry point into the exhilarating world of BDSM. It’s also the first kink many couples try to spice up their sex life.
| ➰The psychology behind bondage It’s all about power exchange. For some, submitting to someone else offers a chance to release control and embrace a sense of freedom. For others, taking on a dominant role provides a way to feel empowered and in charge. |
#3 Age Play
Age play is the simplest form of roleplaying. Based on the age difference, one partner plays the dominating daddy or mommy, and another plays the submissive baby. Another popular fantasy here is the student-professor scenario.
Even the simple thing like calling your partner daddy as they go down on you can classify as age-gap kink, so the chances are you’ve already experienced it without even paying much attention to it.
No matter the play, though, it all comes down to feeling hot about having sex with someone older or younger.
| 👴🏼Why do people engage in age play? There are several reasons why age play is such a popular kink. One of the common ones is that age differences often seem taboo, allowing people to experience the excitement of doing something they aren’t supposed to in a safe space. The dominance factor also plays a part here. |
#4 Cuckolding
For most people, the thought of another person shagging their partner is the worst nightmare. For others, it’s the biggest fantasy.
Cuckolding, because that’s the official term for this type of kink, involves someone watching their partner, either in-room or online, have sex with other people. It’s actually an act very closely related to BDSM, as it involves one partner – the one having sex – psychologically dominating and humiliating another.
| 🫎Why cuckolding? Cuckolding implies humiliation. And that’s usually the case. Some people feel aroused by watching their partner humiliate them by having sex with someone better than them – for instance, a guy with a larger penis. Erotic humiliation is pretty common, and cuckolding is one of the most popular ways of practicing it. |
#5 Role Play
Role play is all about adding a spark of imagination into your bedroom shenanigans. It’s a pretty common kink where you slip into new personas and act in a quick genre scene before going down on each other.
It can be anything from a classic pizza delivery scenario to more sophisticated scenes like an X-rated Star Wars reenactment.
It’s one of the easiest kinks to dive into, requiring nothing more than a willingness to play along (though costumes and props never hurt).
| 🎭Why do people enjoy role-play? Role play taps into the thrill of escapism. It allows you to temporarily step away from real-life responsibilities and dive into a fantasy world where the rules are yours to break. For some, it’s about playful exploration of power dynamics. For others, it’s the joy of acting out a scenario they’ve fantasized about but wouldn’t try in real life. |
#6 Erotic Asphyxiation
Sometimes, we feel out of breath during sex. It’s normal. Some people, however, like that feeling more than others.
Erotic asphyxiation, because that’s the official name for breath play, is a fetish where a limited supply of oxygen to the brain during sex enhances pleasure, resulting in more intense orgasms.
In simpler terms, if you like being choked while doing it, it’s likely your kink, which, to be fair, is relatively common. It is also dangerous, though, so be sure you’re cautious while performing it.
| 😵Why do people like being choked during sex? Choking has both physical and psychological implications. For starters, many people enjoy the sensations of being deprived of air, such as a quickened heart rate and head rush. As for the psychological part, it can be connected to the same factors that drive BDSM acts – the power exchange. |
#7 Impact Play
Who’s up for a little spanking? Impact play is one of the most common kinks out there, and many of us practice it without even paying too much attention to it.
Rise your hand if you’ve never playfully spanked your partner’s ass during sex. That’s what we thought. Still, there are people who take it up a notch, using paddles and whips to smack their partner for sexual gratification. And by smack, we mean the smack that will leave a mark.
| 🏓Why do people enjoy impact play? Plenty of research has been done on the connection between pain and pleasure pathways in the brain. According to studies, pleasure and pain activate the same neural mechanism connected to the brain’s reward system. This is where the high feeling of people feeling sexually aroused by spanking comes from. |
#8 Pregnancy
Have you ever looked at a pregnant woman and felt your heart starting to beat faster, blood flowing into unexpected areas? Well, it’s very likely you have maiesiophilia, aka, the pregnancy fetish.
It means exactly what it sounds like – feeling sexually attracted to pregnant women. This can include arousal from physical changes, like a baby bump or swollen feet, or the idea of fertility and creation.
For many, it’s not just about admiring the glow; it’s the ultimate symbol of femininity and life. The side effect can also be a lactation fetish (yes, that’s also a thing).
| 🤰 Why are people into pregnancy? Part of the answer might lie in early childhood experiences. A study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine found a link between sexual attraction to pregnant and lactating women and greater exposure to maternal pregnancy and lactation during childhood. |
#9 Urophilia (Pissing Fetish)
Watersports, golden shower, or simply pee play; however you’d like to call it, urophilia (fancy name for pissing fetish) is another popular kink.
Now, while pee play can include various urine-related shenanigans, the most popular way to engage with this kink is through golden showers. If you aren’t familiar with the term (which we highly doubt), a golden shower involves one person peeing on another as a form of erotic act.
Other popular watersports disciplines involve drinking urine, wetting clothes, or making a partner hold their pee. Who would’ve thought that you could do so many things with urine, right?
| 💧Why do people enjoy pee play? For many, it’s about trust and intimacy. Allowing someone to see or engage in such a private act creates a strong bond of vulnerability. Others find the taboo aspect electrifying, as it challenges deeply ingrained ideas of propriety. It can also tie in with domination and humiliation. So yes, there are plenty of reasons why people play with urine. |
#10 Knismolagania
As mysterious as it might sound, knismolagania is nothing else than a tickling fetish. Whether it’s through using fingers, feathers, or adult sex toys like vibrators, people with knismolagania get turned on by the sensation of being tickled.
Generally speaking, it’s a more playful kink compared to some others that made our list. Still, it can get a bit more extreme, with some adding bondage or even electrical stimulation into their tickling play.
For those new to this, however, we’d suggest starting with feathers and fingers. You can always turn it up a notch later.
| 🪶 Why do people enjoy tickling as a kink? There are several reasons why people might have a tickling fetish. One relates (again) to power-play common in other BDSM acts. Another reason might be your childhood experiences with tickling. |
Embracing Kinks and Fetishes
Sexual preferences are as diverse as people themselves. By understanding and exploring kinks, you can deepen intimacy, boost self-awareness, and enrich your relationship. Remember: there’s no “normal” in sexuality – only what feels right for you and your partner. So talk it out, learn more about what gets you going, and embrace your kinks and fetishes. Your sex life will thank you for that.
